December 5, 2020

The Car History of Alex Beloff III

WAGNER CADILLAC RICHMOND INDIANA OCCUPIED A VERY OLD DOWNTOWN LOCATION.  IT HAD ONE UNIQUE FEATURE:  A ONE CAR SHOWROOM THAT BORDERED ON THE SIDEWALK.  ON DISPLAY WAS A 1968 CUSTOM CORVETTE WITH VERY EXPENSIVE FLARED FENDERS AND WHAT IS EQUIVALENT TO TODAYS 500 HORSE RAT MOTOR WITH SIDE PIPES AND PIN STRIPPING THAT WAS DONE BY AN EXPERT FLOWN IN FROM DALLAS TEXAS AT A COST OF $1,000.  WHEN YOU TURNED THE KEY, THE GROUND SHOOK.  THE BODY AND PAINT WERE FLAWLESS.  CERTAINLY IT WAS A ONE OF A KIND.  CLIFF AND I JOINTLY TRADED FOR TWO SPECIAL INTEREST VEHICLES THAT NONE OF OUR COMPETITORS WOULD TOUCH.  THE OTHER WAS AN UNBLEMISHED PRISTINE WHITE 1960 CADILLAC SEDAN DEVILLE WHICH I PROMPTLY SOLD.

CLIFF INSISTED THAT THE CORVETTE NAMED DIABLO (DEVIL) HAD TO BE HOUSED IN THE SHOW ROOM AND NOT AVAILABLE FOR TEST DRIVES BUT PURCHASE AND TEST DRIVE LATER.  THE CORVETTE REQUIRED NUMEROUS JUMP STARTS AND BATTERY REPLACEMENTS AS IT WAS BECOMING A MUSEUM PIECE RATHER THAN A PRE-LOVED RETAIL VEHICLE.  CLIFF AND I MADE A SECRET PACT THAT I WOULD BUY THE CAR AND SELL IT AS MY PERSONAL VEHICLE FOR THE ACTUAL CASH VALUE AND SPLIT WITH THE COMPANY ANY PROFITS OVER THAT FIGURE.  MY HOME ADJACENT TO DANA WEIGLE’S MCDONALDS DRIVE IN COMPLETE WITH RAIL ROAD CABOOSE HAD A VERY LONG DRIVEWAY LEADING TO A TWO STORY FOUR CAR GARAGE CARRIAGE HOUSE IN THE BACK.

WHEN I BOUGHT THE CAR AND PARKED IT IN THE DRIVEWAY (ABOUT 50 YARDS) FOR THE FIRST TIME AND STARTED UP, I HAD A CROWD ALL AROUND IT – MOSTLY LITTLE KIDS FROM THE NEIGHBORHOOD.  THEY HAD A DEFINITE DEMAND IN THE DRIVEWAY, HEY MR. BELOFF.  DOES THAT THING MOVE?  LET’S HEAR IT.  GET ON IT.  NAIL IT.  RIGHT HERE IN THE DRIVEWAY.  WITH THE KIDS SAFELY PERCHED ON THE LITTLE HILL IN OUR YARD, I REVED THAT RAT MOTOR, DUMPED THE CLUTCH IN FIRST GEAR AND WITH LUNG CHOKING TIRE SMOKE, I BURNED RUBBER ALL THE WAY TO THE END OF THE DRIVEWAY AND HIT THE BRAKES.  NOW WE HAD MORE KIDS, BIG KIDS, SAYING I MISSED IT.  DO IT AGAIN.  AFTER FOUR OR FIVE HOLE SHOTS, EVEN THE MCDONALDS CUSTOMERS WERE LEANING OVER THE FENCE.

NOTE NUMEROUS BLACK MARKS IN THE PAVEMENT.  WE LIVED ON A ONE WAY STREET.  MY WIFE STUCK HER HEAD OUT OF THE DOOR AND SAID LOUDLY, THE COPS ARE COMING.  SHE COULD SEE THE RED LIGHTS DOWN THE STREET.  WHEN THE COPS GOT THERE THEY SAID, WE HAVE NUMEROUS COMPLAINTS OF LOUD PIPES AND SQUEALING TIRES.  THE COMBINED AUDIENCE FROM MCDONALDS AND ALL OF THE KIDS ON THE GRASS INCLUDING MY TWO DAUGHTERS THERESA AND NANCY UNANIMOUSLY PUT THEIR HANDS IN THE AIR AND SAID, WE DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

HERE IS THAT BRIGHT RED CORVETTE WITH STEAM COMING FROM THE BLACK MARKS AND TIRES AND THE COPS SAID, LIARS, ALL LIARS.  LET’S GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE.  THEY DID SAY AS THEY LEFT, YOU DON’T WANT US TO COME BACK A SECOND TIME.  THE WORD SPREAD VERY FAST ABOUT MY CORVETTE.  IN NO TIME AT ALL CLIFF WAGNER HANDLED THE SALE OF THE CORVETTE TO AN OUT OF TOWN PERSON WITH RICHMOND TIES.

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